Loss Of Self
by Scarlette-Rayne
Summary: *Prequel to Pet* Detective Benson and Stabler are working hard to solve the brutal beating and rape of a little girl. Benson gets a little too close and then over her head completely.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: All righty. This was one I wasn't originally planning to author at all. I knew in my head the back story and I thought to reveal it little by little via one shots, Pet and then it's sequel but there were still some questions even I as an author had that wouldn't get answered so here we go. I figured I would give us some sort of Prequel to tell us fully what happened during Livia's time with Jocelyn. I always hated doing something like this mostly because I'm a die hard A/O fan but I made the decision to flesh out Jocelyn even more and her relationship with Livia as well as Livia's relationship with Mitsuru and the other servants in the manor. So hopefully this one won't make anyone want to kill me for choosing to do this. If the reviews aren't here or everyone hates it I'll scrap it completely and just leave it with Pet and one shots within it's universe. I originally thought this one would be a one shot but it's shaping up to be more so let me know what you think and I'll see if this one gets reviews about updating it regularly along with the other stories I'm working on.

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><p>Loss of Self<p>

Prologue:

Detective Benson sat at her desk late that night studying the case file in her hand. Her desk lamp was the only light on in the old station house, everyone including Elliot having gone home for the evening and yet she still pressed on. She supposed the silence of her own apartment didn't make things easier when it came to silencing the voices of the victims she could hear in her head.

Currently the detectives were investigating a ring of slavers who would kidnap young men, women and children and sell them to the highest bidder bringing in a lot of money. Truthfully the slavers were careful but they had slipped. Olivia could see clear as day if she closed her eyes the broken haunted face of a child who's soul had been brutally torn apart. Meghan was seven years old, with dark hair and grey eyes. She still retained the pudginess of a little child but it was clear to see that in a few years she would be tall and very beautiful judging by her face shape and full lips. Her mother was a hooker who had sold the child to the slavers a few weeks prior to the Detectives finding her and they wouldn't have found her if it hadn't been for the child's mouth.

Apparently she was quite feisty and she had continued to mouth off. The child had been raped and beaten and dropped, no longer able to get her worth on the market apparently. Most people didn't want their slaves to know the intimate touch of another hence why they were often bought so young and trained to be the perfect slaves. Meghan was destined for that life until she'd defied the slavers.

When the Detectives were called to the scene the child was being bundled up in a blanket and put on a stretcher, her lips, fingers, and toes almost blue from exposure. It had snowed the previous day and Olivia found herself disbelieving that the child had made it so long in the gauzy little dress without giving in to hypothermia and dying. The little one was a fighter though and she hadn't given up it was something to be admired despite her sad circumstances.

She'd agreed to ride with the child to Memorial figuring it would be easier on Elliot to stay and work the scene since the child still unconscious was so young and obviously reminded the ex-Marine of his own children in some ways.

The child hadn't woken up for two days but when she did she had done nothing but scream and fight if a man was in the room with her. It was left up to Olivia to finally get the child to calm down enough to tell them what happened. It was slow going, the child still leery of adults but she finally got some of the story from her. Her mother in a desperate attempt to get high had sold her daughter to a man in a nice car. He was a portly fellow with a beard and little hair on top of his head. He was short and had a slight limp that caused him to walk with a cane. He'd drugged the child by giving her a soda and something to eat which admittedly the child knew she shouldn't have eaten but not eating in two days would make anyone want something and she wanted it badly. When she'd woken up she had been locked in a cell with three other children, two of which were younger than her one of which was older. The older girl Kimberly had been the one to tell her to keep her mouth shut and try to behave. The only thing Meghan could tell them about Kimberly was that she had hair the color of Olivia's and eyes like one of the nurses, her eyes were a bright blue.

The longer Meghan stayed with the girls the more she was exposed to. Kimberly would try to care for them but at twelve that was a bit harder to do. Men constantly came in and out of their cells, large men with guns and sometimes baseball bats. One of them, Meghan remembered would leer at Kimberly and try to get her to take her pants off in front of him. It was disgusting, Olivia recalled Meghan saying with a wrinkle of her nose. But Kimberly never gave and he wouldn't lay a hand on her. One night though he got a bit hands on and Meghan said she'd bitten him in an attempt to get him off Kimberly. He'd smacked her so hard she'd hit the wall of their little room which she'd stated was made of big concrete blocks.

He'd beaten on her more until one of the other men came and pulled him off but at that point it was too late. Meghan though she was hurting and crying started screaming. The portly man with the cane came in after a while and told them to get rid of her, she was damaged goods and wouldn't gain enough money at auction.

Even Olivia a hardened sex crimes cop, had been a bit green when the child described her abuse and then the way the men had hurt her so badly between her legs and then left her to die in the elements. The most haunting of all though had been her cold dead eyes that never gave away any emotion at all.

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><p>"What have you got people?" Cragen asked as stepped from his office. Almost thirty six hours had passed since this case had landed in their lap, most of which he knew his Detectives had been up for. Especially Detective Benson. He could see the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. He frowned knowing they were all pushing themselves hard but knowing that Olivia had to rest. There was nothing they could've done last night. Nothing was panning out and Olivia was now paying the price for staying up so late now.<p>

"We still haven't been able to find the vic's mother. She's all but disappeared." Fin sighed, "We still have no idea who the man is either."

Elliot nodded, "Meghan hasn't been able to say anything more about the man that kidnapped her. She said his car was big black four door but she couldn't remember anything else about the car. And she has no idea how long she was gone with him for."

Olivia was rubbing her eyes trying to stay awake and sighed as she got up and walked to their white murder board. "We don't even have a name for the guy. Meghan said he told her to call him Sir." She sighed. "Our best bet is the mother. Surely she would know who he is."

Cragen nodded, "Go track her down and try to find out anything you can about that guy. Maybe the other girls know him."

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><p>No one knew the guy they were looking for. In fact not one of the girls could even tell them where Meghan's mother was. She had all but disappeared from the streets.<p>

"Likely she's lying dead somewhere with a needle in her arm." Olivia muttered to Elliot as they tried yet again to find the woman they were searching for.

Elliot sighed looking at his partner. "You're probably right. It's getting late let's head in and start fresh in the morning. You look like hell Liv. You should go home and get some rest."

"Let's go back to the precinct and review the case for a bit and then I'll go back home if we still can't find any new leads."

Elliot opened his mouth to refuse but then sighed. He knew Olivia wouldn't agree to go home if he didn't agree to this. "Okay. Let's go back to the precinct and we'll take a look over the file one more time."

"Thanks El." Olivia smiled weakly and slid into their squad car.

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><p>Olivia sighed as she slowly climbed into bed that night. Exhaustion was definitely winning. She'd barely made it through the door before she climbed into bed mostly dressed and curled around her pillow to try and sleep.<p>

She managed to get at least seven hours in before her buzzer went off. She glanced at the digital alarm clock on her bedside table; it read 3:18 AM. Who the hell was coming to her door at three in the morning? She slid to her feet figuring it was the neighborhood kids playing a prank on the cop again. She picked up her gun from the little table by her bedside and walked slowly downstairs glancing around for any signs that it was indeed the neighborhood kids but there was nothing there. She frowned looking out the glass doors before she moved forward her gun clutched in her hand. She pushed the door open cautiously and looked around seeing nothing she turned back to her buzzer. She frowned pulling the toothpick and glanced around once more seeing nothing she went to the glass door and pushed it open when hands went around her. She jerked trying to get her arms free as her gun fell. She tried to kick back to no avail. Something hit the back of her head causing her to see stars; she shook her head trying to clear her head so she could keep fighting. The second hit blackened her vision and she went limp the large hands dragging her away.

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><p>Author's Ending Notes: All right people review or else there will be no more of this!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Oh dear god I hurt! I blew out my tendon again. Fucking thing. I'm really getting tired of this shit. So I'm layed up for the next few days until it heals enough for me to go to the gym. I am allowed to bike and lift weights though so I'll be doing a lot of that until it heals fully. Anyways, so here are the next two chapters. yes that's right I said two. What the fuck am I thinking? Well really I'm only doing this for my two lovely reviewers who without them this wouldn't have gotten posted. I don't know that I'll be continuing it or not maybe for them if nothing else. I hope I can get back to work on everything else here soon but I'm in pain so we'll see what happens. All right, seriously give me some kind of feedback on this.

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><p>Chapter 2:<p>

Elaine shifted slightly back to lay down in the little corner of the cell she'd made her own. Ever since she'd been thrown down here she'd stayed as far away from the guards that often came in as possible. She shifted pulling the threadbare blanket up trying to stay warm as one of the guards, the one she didn't like, the one that eyed her hungrily continued to sit in his chair nearby. Most times when she had someone in the cell with her they were left to their own devices but sometimes guards were sent down to make sure they were behaving. Recently Elaine had been separated from the pretty brunette that was a few years older than her current four years. Little Elaine was quite mature for her age having grown up with a meth addicted mother though she didn't know that was the name of the drug her mother often took.

She didn't say anything when the door to her cell opened and the leering guard rose to his feet. He spoke to his companions who were holding a woman's arms in their beefy ones. They'd obviously dragged her from wherever they'd had her before but the woman's eyes were closed. Elaine blinked her pretty blue eyes watching as the meaty guard stepped back and allowed them to throw their cargo, yes literally throw their cargo into the room. The guard rolled his eyes and walked back to his chair watching as Elaine slowly moved forward. She sighed pulling her scratchy dirty blanket along behind her and settled down near the warmth of the unconscious woman. Without realizing fully what she'd done she'd pulled the arm of the woman around her and snuggled into her side letting her head rest on a full breast. She closed her blue eyes most of the way she knew better than to close them fully with fat man, as she referred to him, in the room.

She settled down and waited much warmer now than she had been before until a groan from the body below hers caused her to sit up slightly. She watched the woman groan and reach up touching her head before brown eyes met her own blue ones. The woman opened her mouth only to be told to be quiet by the guard who moved to stand over them with his large gun. The woman's arm tightened around her as she shifted automatically trying to protect the smaller body. Elaine snuggled close and ever so slowly lifted her hand to rest against the woman's mouth. She shook her head, her greasy brown curls flying as she stared at the very pretty woman. The woman gave a small weak nod of understanding as the guard moved back to his chair.

Hours passed at least that's what Olivia thought as she just laid there holding the small body of the child she'd been thrown into a dark dirty room with. She glanced around seeing the paint peeling walls, the hard wooden floors, and the boarded up windows. It was quiet so quiet she figured they were in the country somewhere but she had no way of telling how much time had passed or what time it even was. All she could do was hope that Elliot and the others knew she was missing and that they would be coming for her soon.

She heard the guard get up and she sat up slowly drawing the little girl to her to protect as he walked towards them.

"You think you can protect her you little whore? "The man asked his voice holding some sort of southern accent. She couldn't rightly place it but she recognized it vaguely.

"I'll do what I have to do to protect anyone."

"I thought I told you to keep that mouth of yours shut?" The man roared.

Olivia tightened her hold on the small frail body glaring at him as the man reared back with the butt of the gun. She twisted her body trying to protect the little girl as the hard plastic and metal connected with her temple. She fell back seeing stars and rolled trying to protect the girl as the gun's butt came down again striking the back of her skull with such force it jarred her teeth in her head. She willingly gave in to blackness as the beating continued unaware that her arms were still wound tightly around the little girl.

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><p>When the woman awoke again it was no longer dark, a single light bulb hanging from a chain in the middle of the room shone its yellow light down on them. She sat up carefully, feeling her body pull in certain areas signaling something was broken or at least fractured. She reached back tenderly touching the back of her skull which was swollen to her touch. She pulled her hand forward staring at the red substance staining her tanned hand before she realized what she was looking at. Blood, her rattled brain supplied. She glanced around wondering how she'd gotten there, where she was or anything else before a small whimper drew her attention. She stared at the little girl in the corner wondering if she knew where they were before something else hit her. Was the little girl hers? Were they related in some way? How were they related? Thoughts swirled in her head before another even more chilling one hit her Who was she? What was her name? She couldn't even remember her own name, let alone that of the little girl.<p>

The little one eased forward as she opened her mouth and shushed her. "Why did you have to talk?" She whispered. "You only make them mad when you talk." She explained still hushed. "What's your name?" Her sad blue eyes stared into the pretty woman's brown ones.

The woman shook her head then squeezed her eyes shut as it brought on wave after wave of nausea. She turned a slight shade of green as the little girl looked at her worriedly.

"I'm Elaine." She explained. "Do you not have a name?"

The woman looked at her with large pretty almond shaped brown eyes and shook her head very carefully again.

"Okay. How about….Libby? I had a doll named that." She smiled softly.

The brunette, now named Libby reached up tenderly touching the back of her head which felt like it was going to split in two and tenderly swiped at the area with her hand but even the light little touch brought tears to her eyes.

"You can't cry Libby. It just makes them mad. You've gotta be quiet. It's easier if you stay quiet." Elaine told her softly.

"Will you two shut the fuck up in there?" Fat man's voice rang out angrily as he stomped into the room.

"Well look at you brave one all woken up. Was it worth it you stupid little slut?" He cursed at her spitting in her general direction as she hunched down drawing Elaine back into her arms to try and protect her.

"You see it's your own damn fault I had to beat you like that. If you'd just done what I said it wouldn't have been a problem. Boss has some plans for you two. Planning on selling you as a matched set; pretty little thing," Here Fat man leered at Elaine, "and her pretty big sister. You two are going to give him a nice fat chunk of change." He stroked at his large crotch with his free hand the large black gun still held loosely in his other as he stared at them.

Libby turned her eyes away in disgust just clutching Elaine close though it hurt everywhere to do so. She couldn't let the foul man hurt her. She was her little sister right? She supposed she was that's what the man was calling her anyways. She sighed when he finally left and looked at little Elaine. Elaine stared back at her and shook her head. "Quiet as a mouse." She murmured softly.

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><p>Author's Notes: What's a girl gotta do around here to get some damn reviews? Dee, Maigonkaze, thank you. You two are the reason these two chapters got put up otherwise I don't know that I would've touched it.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

A portly man with a cane stepped into their cell later that day. He tsked and turned speaking angrily.

"And why did you have to beat my merchandise? She won't sell nearly as well if she's been beaten like this."

"She has a smart mouth sir. I thought she needed to be shown how to respect her superiors." The man Elaine had told Libby she quietly called Fat Man spoke.

"Well then you'd best get it out of her before she goes on the auction block. Avoid her face if you can and don't do any permanent damage. Then we'll have to get rid of her." The portly man tapped his cane near her as Libby flinched. He smirked, "Though she seems to have learned her lesson quite well. Make sure it continues then get them prepared for the auction in three days' time."

The man walked slowly out his cane tapping with every step, his left leg shook slightly possibly due to the amount of weight he was carrying around his middle. Libby had noticed the amount of gold hanging from his fingers and neck. It was obvious this was the boss Fat Man had feared and he'd given permission for her harsh treatment to continue.

"Jesus do you not know how to follow orders at all?" The portly man cursed as he stared at the brunette's bruised, swollen face. Her lip was split, her cheek bruised and swelling, her left eye was swollen shut and bruised terribly. He shook his head as he stared at the curled figure's broken body, scraps of her clothing barely clinging to her anymore.

"Get it up, get it cleaned up and get some fucking make-up on these damn bruises. Hide them. We'll have to sell the little one separate. She'll bring us a bigger price without this piece of shit dragging her down." The portly man pointed disgustingly at Libby.

"Do what I say and go."

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><p>The next few hours passed as a blur to Libby. She was touched, fondled and prodded as she was dressed in a form fitting long black skirt and a long sleeved black shirt. She'd been dunked in cold water and scrubbed by rough hands she could barely tell were female or were they male? She didn't know she couldn't hardly keep her head up. She was whisked away quickly once thick almost comical make-up had been applied to her face to hide the copious amounts of bruises and cuts that had been revealed when she was clean from being seen.<p>

Her ankles and wrists already bruised and hurting from being tied up the past few days while she'd been beaten and tortured in many different ways were bound tightly, so tightly she was starting to lose feeling in them as she was lifted whimpering as she felt what she thought to be a broken bone or two slide together painfully. The burly man, one of which she knew had taken pleasure at touching her most intimate places without breaking her in as she'd heard the men say, hefted her up on his broad shoulder. They weren't allowed to break her in since she wouldn't get any money if she was. She didn't want to know at the time what that had meant but she was grateful all they had done was paw at her bruised body and humiliate her by many dubious means. She worried her split lip trying not to break the scab open again as he slid a meaty hand between her thighs stroking her bare flesh roughly with a laugh as he walked swaying her body in time with each step.

She didn't know where she was until she was thrown into a large circular room. She stared around frightfully her good eye taking in the fact that the room was covered in tapestry's and thick Persian rugs. It was meant to look expensive but it was too gaudy making it look cheap. The portly man with the cane was standing on a platform, the platform she was being made to walk up towards now that she was on her own feet. He was talking to the crowd of well-dressed people around the platform who were all turned watching her. She whimpered tried to step back only to run into the meaty guard who'd brought her here. No, she would rather do what the man with the can wanted then to go to that man. She forced herself to move forward limping slightly as one of her legs had taken a worst beating then the other. It didn't help that her ankles were still tied tightly together making it very hard to walk.

She whimpered as she was lifted and set on her feet next to the man. She fell hitting the wooden platform hard which caused the portly man to lean down grabbing her jaw and hefting her high, so high her toes barely brushed the ground. It hurt so much to be held like that but she tried her best to focus beyond the pain to hear what he was saying.

"Now ladies and gentleman, the first to start our auction, she's an exotic little beauty not exactly young but we thought she might suit some tastes. Surely she would make a lovely bed ornament once trained properly."

"Surely all that make-up obscures her so called exotic beauty." A young man's voice rang out.

Libby glanced at him, her lips trembling. He was a handsome young man in his twenties she guessed. He was tall and broad but not overly broad. More that he could withstand pressure than one that appeared to be strong enough to hurt. His skin was the color of tea with milk in it. His eyes dark and soft looking though at the moment they were scrutinizing her, probably due to the thin line of black eyeliner he wore. His black hair was pulled back into a thick braid that fell down his back. He was wearing a white button down and a pair of black slacks around his neck Libby noticed rested a thin black leather strip that appeared to be some sort of collar.

"Well sir I'm afraid she's a feisty one so we had to subdue her a few times. She fought pretty hard. We're willing to give a good deal on her."

"My Mistress doesn't like bruised property and I think I speak for everyone when I say you are trying to commit high way robbery by selling damaged goods at such an exorbitant price." The young man frowned his full lips drawing a line on his handsome face.

Libby whimpered remembering the guards words, "If you don't sell we'll just have to get rid of you. Of course we get to have our fun before that happens." He'd grinned at her leaving her no doubt what sort of fun they intended to have with her before she was finally put out of her misery.

"Surely your Mistress will understand that we had no choice but to get a bit heavy handed with her." The portly man tried to appease the young man.

He shook his head in disgust, "I think you are trying to cheat my Mistress and these good people out of their hard earned money because a woman gave you a hard time. That's pathetic. And my Mistress won't be happy to see the standards of this place falling so heavily."

The portly man looked nervous now as the crowd nodded and began to murmur. "Well then perhaps I'll just let my men take this one back to her cell. We'll dispose of her properly and bring out the next piece."

"That won't be necessary. My Mistress will take her but at half your asking price." The young man spoke again this time making his way through the crowd. "Have her crated and prepared for us to take her."

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><p>The crate she'd been shoved in was actually a plastic dog container made to transport an animal in a car. Her hands and feet were still tied tightly, there was no getting out of that. She didn't know if it was a blessing or a nightmare that the young man had agreed to buy her and give her to his "Mistress" she didn't know who the woman was or what she would do to her. Surely she wouldn't treat her as badly as the men had before right? She gulped feeling the rocking movement of the car. She wondered what sort of car she was in or where she was even going until suddenly the lock on the cage clicked and the metal door was released. She blinked staring out into the darkness before slowly sliding her way out curiosity getting the better of her mind's screams to stay where she was safe. But she wasn't truly safe there and if she didn't come out and the woman wanted her to she would be in trouble and trouble meant beatings. She didn't want to go through that again.<p>

She remained mostly in the dog kennel, her good eye focusing on the woman sitting in front of her. They were in a limousine its windows were darkly tinted making it impossible to tell what time of day or night it was. She studied the woman in front of her. She was quite pretty, she realized. Long golden blonde hair that when the woman was sitting fell into her lap and spilled to the seats around her, her eyes were a light color though they weren't specifically focused on her. Her white skin was like porcelain, flawless but Libby could see that she had a little blemish on her upper lip and one on her cheek. Otherwise she appeared flawless. She wasn't a small woman either; she was maybe a size ten, in good shape though, with large jutting high breasts and long lean limbs. She wasn't a woman that could easily be pushed around judging by her solid frame alone. The woman finally looked up and Libby realized her eyes were green. They focused on her and with a soft smile the woman set aside the manila folder she'd been reading.

"Hello." She greeted softly. "I'm Jocelyn. I'm your new Mistress." She laid a hand on her chest slowly her movements meant to relax Libby. "You're going to your new home where you'll live with me. You've sustained some damage I can see from here. May I untie you?" She asked never once making a move towards her something Libby was grateful for.

She nodded slowly holding out her hands as the woman's long white fingers began to undo the knots binding her. She did the same for her ankles before returning her hands to Libby's gently massaging her bruised wrists and numb fingers trying to bring the blood back to them and get her used to being touched.

"There we go that's much better. No need to have you tied up like that. I don't think you're going anywhere." The woman, Jocelyn smiled softly at her. "It's going to be okay. You'll be well cared for. I promise. Why on earth they thought such force was needed with you I'll never understand. You're obviously quite delicate."

Libby looked down watching the woman's hands as they continued their gentle caresses, already her hands were feeling so much better. She hated the tingling feeling of blood returning to her limbs but the massage was helping to make that feeling not so strong. "They said I deserved it. That I was bad."

"Are you?" Jocelyn asked softly.

"No ma'am. I try not to be." Libby answered.

Jocelyn smiled and nodded, "I don't think you are either. I think you're a good girl. But I must request you not speak to me. I don't like noise you see. I hear enough of it at work and it gives me a very strong headache. When I come home, I'd just like your presence. Nothing more. Is that agreeable?"

Instead of answered Libby nodded. Jocelyn smiled and nodded, "All right. Let me see your feet. I know they're hurting as well." Tenderly she set Libby's hands in her lap and reached out taking her feet. She caressed her bruised feet easily using the time to assess what damage she could see and also see if any bones were broken.

Libby sighed feeling the gentle touches on her feet, unable to help herself she wiggled her toes feeling the soft fingers caressing them in such a gentle fashion. Ever so softly the kinks were worked out of her feet and then set aside.

"Mistress, we're home." Libby jerked turning quickly which brought up a wave of dizziness but she pushed it aside. Sitting in the seat across from Jocelyn was the young man from the auction. She hadn't even noticed the car come to a stop but now she wondered where they were.

"Yes we are. Tristan, will you take her inside and get Mitsuru to take care of her for me?"

"Of course ma'am."

"Thank you." Jocelyn smiled and reached out gently caressing Libby's not swollen cheek. "I'll see you soon little one. You're going to be taken care of and then we'll see what true damage is under all this make-up and whether I need to get you a doctor or not."

Libby frowned, the woman wasn't going with her? She wanted to stay with her. She was gentle with her. She seemed to like her presence not like the young man from the auction who had looked at her with such disgust plain on his handsome face. She wanted to stay with Jocelyn! She fought the whimper down when the door opened the Jocelyn stepped out; it was dark out she could see. The young man stepped out after her and then made a motion for Libby to join him. She hesitated which he frowned at and then she scrambled out an action she immediately regretted.

He grabbed her arm to steady her, "Are you all right?" He asked, his brown eyes looking concerned.

Libby nodded but didn't say anything. "It's okay you can speak to me. You can speak to any of us just not her. Even we don't hardly speak unless she has agreed that it's all right. Mitsuru of course does as she pleases. She'll take care of you. You belong to Mistress Jocelyn now and she doesn't abuse what's hers."

Libby looked at him wearily wondering how true those words were. They certainly sounded too good to be true. Everyone abused their slaves, or so she'd heard. Why would this woman be any different? But then she remembered the gentle caresses the soft smile, she'd felt…safe for the first time since she'd woken up in that horrible cell. She felt completely safe and suddenly she found herself wanting that feeling back with all her might.

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><p>Author's Notes: Seriously review? Please.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Okay guys so here's the full deal. This is it. I'm done writing. I'm having issues not only with my traitorous body but with my head as well and I feel like it's best if I no longer author any more works. I'm sorry to leave my works unfinished and maybe one day I'll come back and finish them. Just know that for those that were good enough to leave me messages and reviews I appreciated them so much but it's just not worth it anymore to me. I am making the decision to fade back and just read what others are writing instead of trying to motivate myself to write cause honestly that's what was happening. These are the last two chapters of Loss that got written before I fully made this decision, I've been thinking about it for weeks now. I may be back I may not. There's no telling. I truly am sorry to leave these like this but know I was going to end things on a positive note on all my unfinished stories. If you all would like I'll post up my notes so you have some idea of what was supposed to happen. But as of today this is it. It's been a good run and I've enjoyed this website for reading purposes. I did promise a good friend that I would finish up Return and I will for her but it's not going to get posted here. If I decide to take back up writing at a later date I will let you guys know what website it's on and where. I hope everyone can appreciate my reasons and understand that it's just not worth to me anymore. I never could get the appropriate response to anything I wrote and honestly I'm sick of trying. Now that may seem like whining but you know what fuck it I don't really care. I'm tired, my tendon is throbbing and my head is killing me. So I'm not generally a happy camper at the moment. Hopefully you enjoy what I've written and if not well whatever I don't really care anymore. Those that leave sweet comments and messages thank you, I held on for you as long as I could but I can't do it anymore so thank you and I hope you all keep posting and writing fabulous pieces because I will be here to read 'em. Just no longer as an author. So be good guys and I'll see you later...maybe...

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><p>Chapter 4:<p>

Libby wearily walked up the stairs staring at the large immaculate white house that stood before her. It was an old manor house done in the style of Victorian England. White washed boards and wrought iron balconies easily seen though the large white columns did obscure them a bit. The house itself while being beautiful still made her nervous especially when she wondered just what was going to happen inside its thick looking walls.

She turned her head focusing on her new Mistress' long hair which bounced just barely swishing against her round bottom as she walked. The large glass and wood doors were pulled open as a pretty girl with obvious Asian roots shot out the door. "Mistress!" She cried out smiling happily. She skidded to a stop in front of Jocelyn as the woman smiled softly at her. "Good evening my firy one. What have you been up to?" She asked with a smile as she stepped past her. The girl trailed her inside talking happily of her day as though this were nothing out of the ordinary.

"You think she would've learned by now. Mistress likes her quiet time when she's here." Tristan spoke softly as he stayed close to Libby making sure she made it up the large stairs and then into the foyer of the house carefully.

Libby looked at him wanting to question that but decided against it figuring she would get in trouble. Finally the beautiful girl turned to face them, her brown eyes studying Libby's bruised face and body. She frowned and turned back to their Mistress. "This is the new one?" She asked. She knew better than to bring up the fact that she looked like she'd been put through a blender.

Jocelyn twisted slightly and nodded, "Yes. Go ahead and take her upstairs use my bathroom and clean her up. Tristan will fill you in on whatever else you need to know. Then help her back downstairs so I can assess the damage and whether or not I need to call Stanley and have him drive up here tonight to see to her."

"Yes ma'am." The beautiful girl gave a small curtsey and watched Jocelyn walk down the hall to her office.

"Come on Mitsuru I'll help you get her upstairs." Tristan responded.

"What's her name?"

Libby frowned but chose not to say anything. She didn't like being talked about like she was unable or too stupid to communicate but then she figured it might be best for her not to say anything. Let them keep talking, she might learn something of her surroundings. They led her up the large spiral staircase Libby couldn't help but wiggle her toes on the plush carpet underneath her feet. It felt nice as she limped with the two who were quite careful with her if she was honest.

* * *

><p>"Let's get these rags off of you. We need to see what sort of damage has been done." Mitsuru's voice wasn't particularly warm but it wasn't cold either. Libby just stood there unsure of herself even as the girl reached out and carefully began to peel the clothes she'd worn for the auction off.<p>

"Oh my god." She murmured gasping at the sight of Libby's body. Bruises covered most of her abdomen, thighs, and arms. Her chest was badly bruised and welted making Mitsuru think her breasts had been whipped. These they hadn't bothered to cover with the thick make-up figuring they were hidden by her clothes.

"Are your ribs broken?" Mitsuru asked softly trailing her hands gently along her abdomen. She ignored the flinches and little whimpers the brunette released. "I'm going to take that as a yes. Mistress is going to have to call Master Stanley to look at this." She sighed helping her into the large sunken bathtub.

The warm water stung her cuts but felt good on the strained muscles. She looked down feeling the girl's hands using a soft wash cloth ghost over her body washing away the grime and filth before she shifted slightly. "I'm going to wash your hair all right? Can you lean back or is it too painful?"

Libby tried to lean back as carefully as she could but her body protested terribly. With tears glistening in her eyes she sat back up watching the girl frown. "It's okay. I'll use a cup then. Just tilt your head back if you can and we'll get to work."

It didn't take long for Mitsuru to discover the reason she'd begun to sob as soon as she started to wash her hair. Quickly she finished and washed the soap from her hair pushing it out of the way to find the large deep gash at the back of her head. "Oh my god." She sounded sick, Libby thought twisting to look at her with sad dark eyes . "No wonder you were crying. Why didn't you tell me that hurt?" She asked looking like she wanted to shake her.

Libby shook her head carefully and looked down, taking a breath and finally speaking. "Mistress said to get me clean. My hair wasn't clean."

"If it hurt she'd understand." Mitsuru explained frowning.

"It needed to be clean because she said so. I don't want to upset her."

"You won't. She's going to be furious when she sees this but not at you." Mitsuru sighed looking over her bruised face. "Come on let's get you out of here and dressed. She wants you back downstairs so she can see this herself. What's your name? What should we call you?" Mitsuru asked as she stood up and grabbed a large fluffy towel. She helped Libby dry off and set about redressing her as carefully as she could in a pair of black yoga pants that were too long and a long black tank top.

"Libby." She answered softly as the girl pulled the door open.

"She'll change that. She won't like it." Mitsuru spoke with a smile.

"Why wouldn't she like my name?"

Mitsuru shrugged, "You'll see."

* * *

><p>"There's my little one. Let's have a look at you." Jocelyn's soft voice was warm and carried through the office as she stood up and moved from behind the large desk to walk to Libby and Mitsuru.<p>

"What's her name?" She asked looking at Mitsuru.

"Libby ma'am."

"Libby. That's not a good name for you. You're too pretty for something so common." Jocelyn tenderly touched her good cheek turning her head slightly and tilting it back so she could see the damage her face endured. "Livia. That's what we'll call you."

She tenderly ran her hands up and down her bruised arms looking over her body. "May I lift your shirt Livia? So I can see the damage?"

Libby now known as Livia nodded watching as the woman tenderly lifted the shirt. She studied her abdomen for a moment before dropping it. "Mitsuru go and get me a blanket and a pillow from the guest room. Bring it down here. Come now Livia you need to be lying down right now instead of on your feet." She led her carefully over to the large couch in the corner helping her with gentle touches to lay down on her right side since it hadn't taken as much damage. "There we go. You just rest right here. I'll have some soup and crackers brought for you to eat and in the meantime I'm going to call my friend Stanley. He's a doctor; he's going to need to see this to make sure there's nothing that can leave permanent damage to your body."

She started to get up but Livia surprised them both by reaching out and gently gripping her shirt's tail. Jocelyn smiled softly and settled back down. She reached out tenderly stroking the soft dark hair of her newest acquisition which seemed to soothe her beautifully. "There we go. Just rest, everything's going to be just fine I promise."

It was slow work but finally Jocelyn managed to get Livia to eat enough that she was satisfied. She knew her newest possession didn't have the stomach capacity to eat very much but she was trying. She gently tucked the blankets around her and rose to her feet going to make the quick call to Stanley before returning to Livia's side. She stroked and played with her now soft brown hair trying to soothe her off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Livia woke on and off throughout she watched the elderly man, well he was maybe in his sixties that had kind eyes and he was carefully speaking to her Mistress that was standing close by. She was pleased by the fact that the woman wasn't leaving the room. She closed her eyes wondering why she was so tired but she managed to listen.<p>

"The sedative you gave her should help her sleep tonight. It'd be best if she just rests for a bit. Some of these wounds are very serious Jocie. It's going to be a hard road to recovery."

"I understand that but I'm willing to see it through."

The man nodded, "Then I'll help you get her better."

"Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Good morning little one." Jocelyn greeted as she set her tea cup in its Dresden saucer down. Livia stared at her surprised to see her sitting so close to her. She'd woken up a few times in the night realizing she'd been allowed to remain on the couch but she was too tired and hurting too badly to bother to get up and try to search out her owner.

"How are we feeling? We look like we've got some color back in our cheeks." She reached out gently running her hand along Livia's left cheek careful of the tender bruising. Livia's good eye stared up at her. "How about we try to get some breakfast into you? I know you're hungry."

It was again a slow affair, Jocelyn's sure hand fed her so easily though. Livia was pliant willing to do as told if it meant an end to the pain.

"I'm going to be working from home today so I can keep an eye on you. I want you to rest. Stanley is going to come by again tonight to check on you, make sure everything is still looking proper." Jocelyn reached up twisting her fingers ever so gently through Livia's hair. She was most concerned about the head wound and she knew Stanley wouldn't be coming back so soon if not for that but so far Livia appeared all right. She was still eating, still willing to drink. He'd said those were good signs. She rose to her feet slowly when Livia looked like she was about to drift off again and went to her desk knowing she had to get started even if she just wanted to sit and make sure her little one was all right.

* * *

><p>"Good evening Jocie. How's my patient doing tonight?" Stanley's voice rang out as he stepped into the study carrying his black doctor's bag.<p>

"Seems to be doing very well. She slept for most of the day but she got up twice to go the bathroom and she ate good. Three times today." Jocelyn answered for her.

Livia at this point was actually awake. She listened to what her Mistress said and looked back at Stanley. Now truly able to take him in she realized he was a very regal looking man. Slicked back dark hair with a bit of grey at his temples, dark kind eyes and a well-shaped face with little frameless glasses perched on his nose. He was dressed in a black suit and he wore a kind smile as he set his bag down and began to rummage through it.

"Let's see how those ribs are doing tonight."

The examination was less embarrassing then Livia had anticipated. He was as gentle as he was last night and he stopped often to explain to her Mistress (really it was probably to her but he addressed it towards her Mistress) what he was doing and why.

"Instead of a sedative, let's try and just give her simple ibuprofen. No need for anything so strong it knocks her out again. Just let her take it every four to six hours and Jocie call me in the morning to update me on her status."

"I can do that. Thank you again for coming by Stanley."

"No problem my dear, as long as this little one heals up I don't think you'll have to be seeing me much more often. At least until the next one lands and needs a home."

Livia blinked at that, did her Mistress make it a habit to take in ones like her? That certainly seemed to be what the kindly doctor implied. She watched Jocelyn shrug with a small half smile and walk with him to the entrance of the study seeing him that far before returning to check on Livia.

"How's my precious one feeling? Do you want to try some ibuprofen for me?"

Livia nodded at that, she knew the pills would help stave off the pain she was beginning to feel.

"Okay let's get some of that in you and then we'll get you settled for the night. It's getting late and you need to rest."

* * *

><p>A week passed by in much this condition. Jocelyn would stay home with her during the day taking care to feed her and make sure her pain was never intolerable, the bruises were beginning to yellow at the edges the dark marring purples and blues fading a bit with each passing day. Never once did the woman lift a hand to harm her nor did she ever show any signs of even slight irritation with her. Livia for her part mostly stayed confined to the couch not moving unless her Mistress was standing beside her telling her it was time to get up.<p>

Mitsuru and Tristan would come in and out checking on her at night after Jocelyn had gone to bed, she would hear their soft footsteps at night but mostly she was allowed to rest on the large couch. She was surprised however when Jocelyn walked into the room dressed in a business suit and talking on her cellphone.

"Yes I understand that. I'm about to head to the airport now. I just need to make sure a few things around my home are taken care of." Jocelyn paused listening. "Of course. I'll be there soon." She hung up the phone and walked over to Livia kneeling down slowly. She was still above her even if her knees were on the floor.

"How's my little darling feeling today?" She asked immediately her hand found its way to Livia's soft brown hair. "Looks like we're able to finally get that eye open, it's looking much better." She smiled softly studying Livia's soft brown eyes. "Pretty brown eyed girl." She murmured. "I have to go out of the country for a bit. I'm afraid it can't be helped, otherwise I would've cancelled it but as is I have to go. I'll be gone two weeks and then I'll be home. Stanley is going to come by and check on you once or twice and Mitsuru has his number if you start to hurt badly you tell her and she'll call him and have him up here. She also has my numbers to get in contact with me if the need arises. During this time I just want you to rest. If you feel comfortable you can sleep with the others in their quarters if not you can sleep here. It won't bother me but when I return I'll expect you to sleep with the others especially now that you're healing up so nicely. You just try to get stronger, if you feel up to moving then so be it but do not overdo it. I'll be very angry if I come back and you've relapsed because you've not given your body enough time to heal." Jocelyn's green eyes bore into Livia's pretty brown ones as she listened to what her Mistress said.

She nodded appropriately and watched wearily as Jocelyn leaned forward, she was surprised when her soft glossy lips landed on her forehead. She blinked when she pulled away and leaned into the touch on her good cheek for a moment watching Jocelyn rise to her feet and quietly leave the office. It was still early Livia could tell by the grey and light blue hues outside the high office windows. She sighed figuring she'd best try to get a little more sleep before she got up and attempted to find out what she could do to help out.

* * *

><p>"You know you shouldn't be speaking to her like you do Mitsuru." Tristan sighed as he continued to cut up the apple.<p>

"She likes that I'm firy. She says so all the time." Mitsuru pointed out as she poured two glasses of juice from a pitcher. The others were busy doing their chores leaving herself and Tristan to have lunch together like they normally did.

Livia watched from the door way the way the two interacted. She could see the worry plain on Tristan's handsome face and she could see the passion on Mitsuru's.

"You forget your place. Has sharing her bed for so long taught you nothing?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't share her bed that often. And it hasn't caused me to forget my place." Mitsuru took a sip from the glass setting it down, it tapped against the granite countertop as she studied her friend.

"She's our Mistress first and foremost, not your lover or anything in between. She owns this place and she owns us. Remember that or she'll get rid of you."

"She won't get rid of me." Even as she denied it Livia could clearly see the doubt on her face.

"Good morning." Livia spoke softly interrupting their conversation. Two heads whipped towards her and Tristan smiled.

"Good morning Livia. You're looking much better today than when I last saw you." Tristan greeted her stepping around the island and coming towards her. "Come sit down with us and we'll get you some lunch. Are you hungry?"

Livia looked over seeing Mitsuru's frown but nodded, "Yes thank you." She made her way over to the island and settled carefully on the high stool Tristan pulled out for her.

Mitsuru twisted turning her back and walking to the cabinets. She pulled down a clear glass and walked back to the island setting it in front of Livia. Tristan watched her normally meticulous movements become jerky and angry. He recognized it immediately. She was jealous, jealous of the one they weren't sure was even going to survive once brought into the house. He hadn't been sure he wouldn't go into the study and have found the brunette killed herself to escape the pain. That's why Mistress had wanted them to keep such a close eye on her.

Livia tentatively reached out lifting the pitcher with shaky hands. Tristan sighed reaching over realizing Mitsuru wouldn't help her and laid his hands on hers to steady them. "Here let me help." He spoke with a soft smile to which he got a small half-smile in return.

"The bruises on your face are starting to fade." Mitsuru commented with a frown.

Livia looked over at her and nodded, "Yes they have. Mistress said they were looking better this morning. She did leave didn't she?"

"Yes, she left." Mitsuru snapped. "If you'll excuse me I have chores to do."

Tristan sighed watching her walk off and then turned to Livia, "I was going to make some sandwiches for lunch. Would you like one?"

"Yes thank you. Why was she mad?" Livia asked looking wearily at the door and then back at Tristan.

"She wasn't. She's jealous of you I'm afraid."

"Of me? Why?" Livia asked carefully lifting the glass with both hands to keep it steady so she could take a sip.

"Mistress has been paying you a lot of attention. More than usual for any of us, at first everyone thought it was because you were so badly injured when you came here but unfortunately I know better and so does she."

"I didn't mean to upset anyone, I am sorry I disturbed her house like this." Livia started and Tristan waved his hand going to the large steel refrigerator. He pulled out various things and then turned looking back at the apple he'd been slicing.

"Go ahead and eat that apple. I was slicing it up for Mitsuru but she's not likely to come back."

Livia nodded beginning to eat the slices slowly since her jaw was still a bit tender.

"Still hurts?" Tristan asked setting down his armload and pulling out a loaf of sliced bread.

"It's a bit tender. I've been eating more though lately so I know it's probably just not used to being moved so much."

He nodded and sighed, "Livia, I know you haven't seen much of our Mistress yet and I know given what's happened to you that you're quite leery of well everyone. But you don't have to be afraid of her. I've been with her six years and she will only punish you if you truly deserve it and it's nothing like what you went through."

"You mean she won't beat me?"

"Not like that. I've been physically punished before and trust me it's not that bad. It's more shameful then anything. She lets you know that she's not pleased and that she expects better from you and trust me once is all it tends to take to learn that lesson and learn it well. You don't want to disappoint her. She does so much for us, the least we can do is not disappoint her right?" Tristan carefully set the sandwich he'd put together for her in front of her.

Livia looked down and nodded, "Yes you're right. She's done so much for me, in just this week that I've been here. I can't imagine upsetting her."

Tristan smiled working on his own sandwich and nodded, "Yes, that's the right attitude to have. Don't be Mitsuru I'm afraid she's upset Jocelyn a few times with her insolence and sharp tongue. I know she's taken her fair share of punishments unlike most of us that will avoid it at all costs. She's got her reasons for being like that I'm sure but for your sake I hope you don't get like that."

Livia lifted the sandwich and took a small bite, she chewed thoughtfully before she spoke. "What should I be doing?"

"You should be healing." A voice spoke from the doorway. Another beautiful brunette girl walked into the room. Her green eyes much darker than Jocelyn's lit on Livia's pretty face. She was dressed similarly to Mitsuru a skirt and a blouse, very cute with her knee socks and Mary-Jane slippers. "Hello. I'm Tira." She walked into the kitchen smiling at Tristan who smiled back at her. "We haven't yet been introduced. I've only heard about you from this one." She pointed towards him and then stepped up to the counter.

"Hello." Livia greeted suddenly feeling ugly. The girl was quite lovely; she had high cheekbones and wide eyes. She was slender and pale and her long brown hair cascaded around her frame.

"Don't look down dear. Not around us. We're like you. You only look down to those above you." Tira smiled at her picking up Mitsuru's forgotten glass and taking a sip. "I thought Mitsuru was in here with you?"

"She left. She said she had some chores to do." Tristan responded easily taking a bite of his own sandwich.

The girl rolled her eyes, "More like she got angry that you were berating her like you do and stormed off to Mistress' room so she wouldn't have to deal with you."

Tristan frowned knowing he'd been caught. "She does have chores and so do you Tira."

"And they'll get done. With Mistress gone I'm not as much on a time limit. I'll get back to work soon. I just wanted to see our new addition. I heard she's been sequestered in the study for the past week." Tira smiled at her, "You're very pretty. I can see why you were chosen to come here."

"You are lovely Livia." Tristan murmured after he'd swallowed a bite of his sandwich.

"I don't think so." Livia looked down not catching Tira's frown or Tristan's sad look.

Tira reached out carefully lifting Livia's chin. "I think you're lovely. And I think our Mistress does too. I heard she's calling you her pretty brown eyed girl."

Livia's head snapped up her eyes a bit wide as she stared at Tira. Tira smiled at her and nodded, "She is." She added.

"She's right. Mistress has been calling you that. I heard her say it to Master Stanley when he was here." Tristan murmured.

Livia blinked shocked, "She did?"

Tristan nodded with a smile at her. Livia blushed slightly smiling a bit. Tira was grinning, "See you're so pretty." She murmured.

"Would you like to go with me today?" Tira asked as she moved around the counter to stand beside her. "I know Mistress wants you to rest and you can if you get tired. We can just talk while I do my chores."

"I want to help." Livia said suddenly looking up at her. "I don't want to be burden."

Tira nodded, "Okay but if you get tired you have to tell me immediately and go and get some rest."

Livia nodded looking at the pretty girl solemnly.

"By all means Tira take her with you." Tristan said a bit sarcastically as they walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Tira fluffed up the pillows in the guest room. "We didn't quite get around to changing the sheets last time Master Stanley stayed over. That was the night you were brought here actually. He wasn't originally going to stay but it was so late Mistress sort of made him." Tira spoke with a smile as Livia carefully helped her arrange the throw pillows.<p>

"Where's Mitsuru at?" She couldn't help but ask watching Tira look over at her.

Tira shook her head, "Where she always goes to sulk when Mistress isn't home, her bedroom."

"So you all have your own bedrooms?"

"Oh no no. The basement is fully finished and we have a big main room and then there are two rooms off it where we all sleep. There's only fourteen of us. Well now there's fifteen including you."

"So is there going to be room for me?"

"Of course there is. You can even take the bed next to mine if you want. As for Mitsuru what I meant to say was she's in Mistress' room. She and Tristan are the only two allowed in there and even then Tristan doesn't hardly enter, only Mitsuru goes in there whenever she chooses. She's a bit spoiled but she's quite sweet. She's just jealous of you that's all."

"I still don't get why." Livia sighed as she carefully re-arranged the pillows to give herself something to do.

"Because you're taking her place."

Livia's head shot up looking at her questioningly.

"It's really as simple as that. Mistress used to dote on her and now she's doting on you. She would feel that way about anyone that took Mistress' attention from her so don't take it personally."

Livia sighed, "I really didn't mean to cause trouble." She repeated her earlier words.

"And you didn't. You didn't know coming here that you were going to be the one Mistress doted on. You just needed a home and to be looked after and cared for. That's not causing trouble. As for Mitsuru well she's not our Mistress. And if you make Mistress happy, then I say good for you. We all just want to see her happy even Mitsuru though she'll be hell bent to admit it if it's someone other than her making Mistress happy." Tira laughed and smiled. "Don't worry that pretty head of yours Livia. Things will be just fine. You'll see. I promise."


End file.
